Day 219
They say that the lord what ever give more than we can handle. I keep wondering when my point is reached when I don't have to suck it up and take it. Yes. I'm talking about the guy again. It's still the same one. I know it's sad. I'm pretty pathetic.
Today we ran and lifted inside because of the rain. So of course the football team was there. And to make this as less painful to write down, I'm pretty much invisible to him. Walked right past him and....nothing. I can't even begin to explain what goes thought my mind at moments like this. First of all, talk about an awkward moment. Second the ducking and staring at the floor. Third Knowing he saw me, all sweaty and no make up, but if I looked normal still doesn't even want to look me in the eye. Fourth realizing he still knows I look at him and he's amused by it.
Not a good day, especially since we finally had the burn party last night.
It shouldn't be this way. He shouldn't be pushing his way into my life. He shouldn't pretend I don't exist. He shouldn't text my friend, but then again she shouldn't text him either. He shouldn't want to make me want it back. But I guess it just happens...to me.
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Guys like that suck!! But, it is also what YOU make of it. If you want something from him and you know it's not going to happen, and you know that he knows that he's not going to let it happen, then you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt that will take years to overcome. Just like you've said before-he does it to amuse himself, to see how much "control" he still has over your thoughts, etc. Obviously if he hasn't realized that he's the one losing out, he's not worth your time. Make your senior year count for you!! Love ya-missed you tonight!
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