Burdens Lifted

Day 153
Yesterday was a very interesting day. Let's just say I got to tell him how much he hurt me and my feelings. And he got to apologize and explain why he did the things he did. Even though I don't know why he did it, he doesn't even know why he did it, but now I feel like I have some closure. I feel like now we BOTH can move on from what happened. I wouldn't call us friends, but we aren't enemies or anything like that. So I feel like a million times better. I can finally actually move on now, for real this time.
Lex, Camie and Kayla came over to talk about all that happened I always feel better talking to them. Later I went with Lex to her family BBQ and it was way fun!!!!
So tomorrow is the day...LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!! It doesn't feel real to me at all. Anyway tomorrow should be way fun. Chill at school and then the year book stomp!! Fun times!! And a excellent way to start summer!!!!!!!!!

Just Not Feeling It

Day 152
I don't really want to talk about today. I'm not feeling like blogging at all. So I will talk about it tomorrow.

Could It? Should It?

Day 151
Tomorrow should be interesting...
It should make me happy.
It should lift those feelings off my chest.
It should turn out the way I hope.
It should all be resolved, no matter which way it goes.
But it could...
End up making things worse.
It could make me cry.
It could make me say something I didn't want him to know.
It could be a not so great time.

What Else?

Day 150
Last night at the bees game was soooo much fun! James is such a nice guy and I think he had a good time! So yay a successful date!!
I hate to say this, but the drama of the guy is still not over. I really hate talking about this every week, but he just won't go away. I just don't understand. So apparently he NEVER was happy with me, but still he is constantly trying to interfere in my life. And was is so sad that I think it would take a lot of me to say "No" to him if he ever really did take me back. I don't know what's going to happen now. All I know is that I need to stay strong and stay away form whatever he throws at me next.

Last Friday

Day 149
Right now I'm sitting in animal science. I just my report about Jockeys. Not that exiting.
But I am very excited for tonight. Bees game!! It's going to be way fun. James is a really funny guy and all our friends will be there too so it's going to be a good night. The only thing that I'm a little worried about is the rain. I personally don't have a problem with rain, but I think other people in the group might.
I fill a little stressed right now. After school I need to go hurry and talk to a teacher about my pathway and then Chel and me probably will need to clean our locker out. I need to get ready for tonight by 5 so I'm hoping I can get ready fast.
All in all this last Friday has been a little blah, but then again I don't really have a lot to complain about.

It's Now 11:14

Day 148
It doesn't take much for Chel and me to find something funny to do. And if your wondering what we could possibly be doing at 11:14pm on a school night you can refer to her blog. It's a pretty awesome sight!!!

P.S. Tomorrow is my last Friday as a Junior!!

Gaga, Glee and Lee

Day 147
Can I even begin to explain how badly I want to see Lady Gaga next March!! Extremely bad!!!! I finally got to watch Glee tonight and of course this week had to be Lady Gaga week!! Super cool, definitely one of the best episodes yet!! I also really liked all the guys in their Kiss attire.
I also watched American Idol. I haven't really watched this season, but I will say I am extremely shocked that Lee won.

3 Hours

Day 146
I didn't know I would be spending 3 hours at a choir concert tonight...

Sometimes No News, Is Good News

Day 145
Nothing really amazing happened today. Of course it's freaking ridiculous that it snowed this morning!! School is out next week!!! Snow is just wrong!!!
Chel and me watched 10 Things I Hate About You and let's just say I'm still confused about what happened...
Anyway tomorrow should be good. It's Lady Gaga week on Glee!! And tomorrow is my last Tuesday as a Jounir. It's still freaking me out how fast this year has gone.

A Night of Firsts

Day 144
Tonight I went to my uncles for our family's monthly get together and of course I had a great time. We had a BBQ. And we got meet my cousin's new boyfriend, which is kind of a big deal because she just broke up with her psycho ex which makes us all way happy. Then my uncle told us about how much he loves this show, The Middle. We watched a couple of episodes and it was very very funny.
Also I have been reading some poetry by Emily Bronte. Poetry has really never been my thing, but I think I might be in love with her poetry. My favorite poem that I have read so far is called "A Day Dream".

On a sunny brae alone I lay
One summer afternoon;
It was the marriage-time of May,
With her young lover, June.

From her mother's heart seemed loath to part
That queen of bridal charms,
But her father smiled on the fairest child
He ever held in his arms.

The trees did wave their plumy crests,
The glad birds carolled clear;
And I, of all the wedding guests,
Was only sullen there!

There was not one, but wished to shun
My aspect void of cheer;
The very gray rocks, looking on,
Asked, "What do you here?"

And I could utter no reply;
In sooth, I did not know
Why I had brought a clouded eye
To greet the general glow.

So, resting on a heathy bank,
I took my heart to me;
And we together sadly sank
Into a reverie.

We thought, "When winter comes again,
Where will these bright things be?
All vanished, like a vision vain,
An unreal mockery!

"The birds that now so blithely sing,
Through deserts, frozen dry,
Poor spectres of the perished spring,
In famished troops will fly.

"And why should we be glad at all?
The leaf is hardly green,
Before a token of its fall
Is on the surface seen!"

Now, whether it were really so,
I never could be sure;
But as in fit of peevish woe,
I stretched me on the moor,

A thousand thousand gleaming fires
Seemed kindling in the air;
A thousand thousand silvery lyres
Resounded far and near:

Methought, the very breath I breathed
Was full of sparks divine,
And all my heather-couch was wreathed
By that celestial shine!

And, while the wide earth echoing rung
To that strange minstrelsy
The little glittering spirits sung,
Or seemed to sing, to me:

"O mortal! mortal! let them die;
Let time and tears destroy,
That we may overflow the sky
With universal joy!

"Let grief distract the sufferer's breast,
And night obscure his way;
They hasten him to endless rest,
And everlasting day.

"To thee the world is like a tomb,
A desert's naked shore;
To us, in unimagined bloom,
It brightens more and more!

"And, could we lift the veil, and give
One brief glimpse to thine eye,
Thou wouldst rejoice for those that live,
BECAUSE they live to die."

The music ceased; the noonday dream,
Like dream of night, withdrew;
But Fancy, still, will sometimes deem
Her fond creation true.

I think it's pretty sweet!!

Randomness!

Day 142-143
K last night was really fun!! I went to Logan with my mom and grandma. We went and decorated my great grandma's grave. Then we went and ate at Maddox, which they both love. I like it too, but I'm not in love with it.
When I got home I went over to Lexi's. A few people there were watching Avatar. Then her one friend Nick started telling us scary stories. It was so hilarious. Then Kayla texted me to meet her, Ashlee and Cameron at Village Inn for some pie. We had a really good time. Cameron is going to be leaving for his mission soon, which makes me so sad.
Tonight Lex is coming with me to Desert Star, which will be an excellent time. Before that though I have a lot to do. Plan out tennis practices, start ideas for my pathway project, and then finish up the last homework I will have for the rest of the year. Insane!!!!!!!
O and just a little happy side note. Next weekend at bunch of us are going to a Bee's game for a group date and James said he would come with me! Yay it makes me soooo happy!! O and here are our prom pictures which turned out pretty sweet!!!

Look and Watch

Day 141
Today my Grandpa Ron and Grandma Rhea came up from St. George for a visit. My grandpa Ron is one of the funniest people I know. Anyway it was really nice to see them.
My Great Grandma Teddy, my Grandpa Ron's mom, has been living is a rest home for about 9 months up here so my grandpa spent to day with her.
My Grandma has been missing him so much. She asks about him every day. When we took her back to the home and we were getting ready to leave she started crying. She didn't want her son to leave her. I almost cried. It was so sad.
It is just strange to think that here I am 17 and having struggles of my own, while my grandma at 87 is sad about not being with her son. Of course my grandma is extremely lucky that she has all her family here and she is pretty old so her mind isn't the same, but it really made me think. Through out life we all go through many different experiences. I'm just really glad that someday the struggles I have now will lead me to a great guy and happy life and even when I'm 87 I know that I won't always have to live that and things are going to be ok. All of it is going to be worth it.

Always The Same...

Day 140
I thought it was highly unlikely to have the same kind of bad day again. I was very wrong. I feel like I have lived this day many times before.
The same sick feeling.
My heart aching.
I can tell my friends are getting bored and annoyed of me talking about the same thing over and over again.
Yeah maybe it's the hormones. And yeah this is what everyone goes through. This is part of being a teenager.
But I just wish I could suck it up a little better. I feel better and what not, but unless I have someone to remind me that feeling this heartbreak is not worth it I seam to slip a little in that sad mode.
I know that I will soon forget it all when I find that even greater thing. Plus I have an amazing family and friends.
It's just hard waiting for the day when all the hurt was totally worth the wait.

Ooo La La

Day 139
The big Europe trip is now less than a month away!!!! I am sooooo excited!! I mean it's insane to think that I will be in Paris and London!! It still hasn't hit me yet. At our last meeting we kind of went over are day to day schedule, but tonight I just found out that one of the nights we are in Paris we are going to take a boat ride on the river Seine!!!! We are going to see the entire city at night!!! After the boat ride we get to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and look out at the beautiful city.


This trip will be amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Brother (aka) Justin Bieber

Day 138
My bro is a very attractive young man. Always has been. Always will be.Many girls from 5-16 and and very rarely 17 year olds have recently fallin in love with this kid named Justin Bieber. You might have heard of him.
Well my brother looks a lot like him. And let me tell ya the ladies have been swarming him more than ever!




It's pretty freaky!!

Deer Friends

Day 137
Ok I promised I would blog about my mom new friend that she bought last week.
To start the story she has had this little staute deer that she puts out in our front yard during the summer. We recently went to IFA and my mom saw another deer like hers and she freaked out!! She wanted it so bad so my grandma got it for her as an early birthday present.

She named them Peeta and Gale. I know she is a freak.
Anyway I'm off to watch some tennis. Night.

Here's The Scoop

Day 136
Wow! I haven't really done a good blog for a few days. So here is my redeeming post to make up for all the lame ones.
First of all. This week of school felt like the longest week of my life. I think school feel so long cause it's so close to being over. Which is insane to think about. The good thing was I didn't have any boy drama. Sweet relief.
On Thursday we had our tennis meeting. Tennis season doesn't officially start till August but since this year I'm pretty much the Senior in charge. I need to plan summer unofficial practices with all the rest of the girls. The meeting went well and I got every ones phone numbers. And the super good news is that our uniforms are going to be soooooo awesome!!! Black dress!! Dang we are going to look so hott!!
Also on Thursday I went to the FFA Banquet. I am the Reporter! I am way happy too cause I get to make the scrapbook, so pretty much the best officer position ever. O the FFA. What an adventure this is going to be. The good thing is that Chel and my other friend Kaity are officers too.
Yesterday night was a grand time. I went and played tennis with a bunch a friends! It was way fun!! I played against Micheal and he BEAT ME!! But it was just for fun. One of these days we are going to play for real. Then I'm going to kick his butt!! Afterwards we went to Kayla's and watched Hot Rod! Very funny movie. Then we talked and talked and talked. From everything to joining the Marines to Zombies. It was fun!

Ok I have to completely switch subjects right now!! The season finale of The Vampire Diaries was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo CRAZY!!!!!!!! I hope you all wacthed it!! What is going to happen now!!? Damon really does loves Elana! Stefan!!! Catherine is back!!!! O my heck!!!!
Now the big question is who to love more? Damon of Stefan?


It's such a hard choice!!! I can't decide!!!

So Much...So Little Time

Day 135
I have a lot to say about another fun night. I have a lot that has happended but haven't had time to talk about it. The next post I will fill you all in.

Robin Hood

Day 134
I'm going to see Robin Hood with Chel tonight!!

What? Where? When? Who? How?

Day 133
First of all...
M- Movie With my mom
Deer- My mom's new friend. I will be having a post all about the deer soon.
Silliness-There is nothing better than having your girlfriends over for some silly talk.
Now moving forward...Things that have come up...Some good...some bad...
What? Last night on Glee when they sang "One" I almost died. Did it really have to be that song?
Where? Kayla, Cami and I taking pictures at the park.
When? It feels like everyday I laugh my guts out, but there out of all the good moments that one bad thing comes back. Of course the good weights out the bad.
Who? The good, my fabulous friends. The bad, the guy that I used to mean everything too, but now I don't even exist.
How? The bad I can't even begin to explain why it still is happening,but this week alone I have some great times that I will never forget.

M? Deer? Silliness?

Day 132
What does it all mean...
I will let you know tomorrow!

"Alejandro..."

Day 131
I don't have much to say today.
But here are some things that have made this Monday a little more bearable.
Song: "Alejandro" -Lady Gaga
TV Show: Everybody Loves Raymond and 10 Things I Hate About You
Book: North of Beautiful By:Justina Chen Headly

Note To Self

Day 130
When your emotions are in a not normal state...Do not watch a sad movie!!! I'm sure a lot of you already have learned this the hard way, but I haven't yet. That is until tonight.
As I was doing homework, Titanic was on. It definitely made the work more bearable, but soon enough I was crying. Yup. Not good. In some ways yes, but mostly NO BUENO!!!

Extra Lovin'

Day 129
Nothing to exciting to report today. Went to a friend's dance program and went shopping, but I did get some extra love from my fabulous friends who always got my back!

The Things We Carry Inside

Day 128
I'm strong....
But sometimes you have to let the tears flow and let some of the feeling out into words.
It just sucks that it had to happen tonight, with all my great friends there...I just wish it didn't need to be this hard...

TGIF

Day 127
School had been the death of me this week!! I'm so happy that tomorrow is Friday!! We are having another scary movie night and of course so much fun!! Yay!! All I have to do is get through school tomorrow!!!!

Same Old Stuff

Day 126
It was just a school day.
One of those days that I couldn't wait to go home and sleep.
Was a day when I felt like everyone was ignoring me.
A day when something didn't feel right.
And yes it was even a day when that same old guy that I have mentioned before made his monthly check in to make me miserable.
Yup, today was that day when you think, "Why?"

Almost Over

Day 125
So my history teacher let my class in on a little surprise today. We all realized that basically we only have like 25 days left of this school year!! It's crazy!!!! I can't believe that my Junior year of high school is almost over!! And I will admit this year has been soooo much fun. And yes of course,as many of you know, I have had those down times, but they just added to this crazy teenage high school experience.
It's insane to think that summer is literally around the corner. I can't help, but just smiling about that. What's even more insane is that I'm going to be a senior next year!!!!!!!!!!

Letters From The Sky

Day 124
This song is added to my favorites of all time!
"Letters From The Sky"- Civil Twilight

"One of these days the sky's gonna break and everything will escape and I'll know
One of these days the mountains are gonna fall into the sea and they'll know
That you and I were made for this
I was made to taste your kiss
We were made to never fall away
Never fall away
One of these days letters are gonna fall from the sky telling us all to go free
But until that day I'll find a way to let everybody know that you're coming back, you're coming back for me
'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear
These are only walls that hold me here
Hold me here, hold me here
The only walls to hold me here
One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon
And we will hear those planes overhead and we won't have to be scared
We won't have to be scared, we won't have to be scared
You're coming back for me
You're coming back for me
You're coming back to me"

A Night To Remember

Day 123
PROM WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!! I COULDN'T ASK FOR A MORE FUN AND AWESOME NIGHT!!!!
We started out the day by going to eat some yummy food at Village Inn!!! Then the boys gave us time to get ready! Dinner was way good! We went to PF Changs!!! Yummy!!
Then headed for the dance!!! It was way above was I was expecting!! I loved every second of it!!!! Sadly I didn't win anything for the royalty, but I still couldn't ask for a better time. My group was awesome!! I loved being with my funny fantastic friends!!!And the guys looked soooooo handsome!! We were dancing like crazy people!!!
Afterwards we went cosmic bowling!!! Super fun as well!!!


I was the first girl to be picked up in the group so my mom got them all out of the car for a pic!! These are some pretty handsome and great guys!!

Dinner at PF Changs

The Capital Building

A quick pic!!
AS soon as we get our pictures back I will for sure post them up!! James and me looked really good together!! And our group was cute too!!
Definitely a night I will always remember!!!!

PROM PROM PROM!!!

Day 122
Today is the day!!! I can't believe it!!! So much is going on today!! It's going to be fantastic!!! I will tell you all what happens tomorrow!!